happiest kids in the world Archives

The Netherlands- One of the Best Places to Grow Up as a Girl

12 Oct

12 October 2016

A report released on the International Day of the Girl has declared that the Netherlands is among the best places in the world to grow up as a girl. I’m not surprised. Unfortunately, the United States, my homeland, ranks in dismal thirty-two place, trailing behind Algeria and Kazkhstan. Apparently, if you are a girl and want to grab life by it’s horns, you have better chances in Holland.

The Netherlands ranks fourth place, just behind their Nordic neighbours Sweden, Finland and Norway. The Girls’ Opportunity Index is based on five indicators – rates of child marriage, adolescent fertility, maternal mortality (as an indicator of girls’ access to good-quality healthcare), Women MPs (in relation to male MPs), and lower-secondary school completion. Suffice to say, I am not surprised.

Here are my own musings as to why the Netherlands is an incredible place to grow up as a girl (and be a woman):

Rates of Child Marriage

This serious human rights violation where more than 15 million girls under the age of 18 are married is unheard in Dutch culture. The Dutch actually don’t care about marriage. As an American from a more traditional Catholic Filipino immigrant upbringing, I was surprised to learn that marriage isn’t one of the milestones that girls aspire to. The popularity of American programs like Say Yes to the Dress reveals, after all, the idea that getting married is culmination of female ambitions and dreams. Marriage, from a modern Dutch perspective, is simply not for everyone. And not marrying is not seen as a failure or a reflection of a female’s shortcomings, and definitely no longer a prerequisite for having children.

Adolescent fertility

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not the alluring French that are paragons of comprehensive sexuality education but the pragmatic Dutch. Starting at the age of four, the Dutch begin age-appropriate sex education classes with an emphasis on respecting one’s feelings and others. By the time they are teenagers, Dutch girls (and their male counterparts) have a mature perspective when it comes to their sexuality, establishing boundaries and negotiating terms. They boasts one of the lowest rates of teen pregnancies in the world.

Maternal mortality- Access to Good-Quality Healthcare

According to 2014 Euro Health Consumer Index ranking thirty-seven countries, the Netherlands has the best healthcare in Europe. With their long standing tradition of home births, a well-integrated hospital and midwifery system and at-home postpartum maternity nurses, giving birth in the Netherlands can be an amazing and safe experience. And as we all know that Europe takes health care seriously, being first place speaks volumes about the quality and access that can be found in Holland.

Women MPs

If there is one thing that you will learn about being with the Dutch, it’s that having an opinion is a matter of national importance. Dutch girls are encouraged to speak their minds from the moment they can babble. Being articulate and opinionated is a trait that Dutch girls learn to aspire to – and they definitely hold their ground on the playgrounds and later in the boardrooms and in state affairs. Whether or not the Dutch actually have any idea of the subject matter is a whole other topic.

Lower-Secondary School Completion
The Dutch can proudly boast as ranking third in the world for having the most educated population, just behind Finland and Singapore according to the annual Global Competitiveness Report conducted by the World Economic Forum. And Dutch girls regularly outperform their male counterparts when it comes to high school and higher education.

As of now, I am a mother to two American-Dutch boys and intent on raising them to be men I can be proud of. But if I should ever have a daughter, I’d be celebrating being able to raise her in the Netherlands!

First photo courtesy of Peter Eiking

P.s. Did you know that we wrote a book exploring why all these Dutch children are so happy around us?

The Happiest Kids in the World, Bringing Up Children the Dutch Way

5 Sep

5 September 2016

By Rina Mae Acosta

It’s time to fess up. We’ve been keeping something from you. Nothing bad. We haven’t cheated on you or anything, but we thought it best to wait until everything was official. We’ve written a book and it’s called The Happiest Kids in the World: Bringing up children the Dutch way. The British edition is now available for pre-order on Amazon. Doubleday UK commissioned the book, Dutch rights have been sold to Nijgh & Van Ditmar for publication in the spring, and we have an American publisher too – The Experiment who do cool non-fiction books. They’ll be publishing next spring too.

As expats bringing up our kids here – Rina Mae Acosta is American and Michele Hutchison is British – we realized that something truly wonderful was going on. UNICEF had already confirmed our suspicions: according to the Child Well-Being Studies, the Dutch are raising the happiest children in the world. We’re talking about well-adjusted and healthy kids who rate themselves happy, get on well with their friends and parents and enjoy school. . . And these children have managed to come top the two times the comprehensive study into childhood happiness was conducted.

What exactly are Dutch parents doing differently? Could it really just be all the hagelslag, chocolate sprinkles, that Dutch kids eat for breakfast? Or perhaps it’s because of the chilled-out Dutch babies who sleep through the night and the under ten crowd who are free to play after school because they have no homework. And why isn’t anyone else making a fuss about this? Shouldn’t more parents know about this parenting style that’s actually working?

So we put our heads together to figure out exactly why Dutch children are rated the happiest kids in the world.

In the meantime, come join us on our Facebook page. And if you’d like to support us in letting more people know about our book, please do.

5 Dutch Parenting Habits That Should Catch On In the US

2 Oct

2 October 2014

By Rina Mae Acosta

When I stumbled upon an article on NPR titled “Global Parenting Habits That Haven’t Caught On In the U.S.“, I got excited. I had not-so-secretly hoped that Dutch parents would be mentioned. I nodded (perhaps too enthusiastically) as my eyes read down the lines, mentally compartmentalizing each habit as a “Yes, what a great idea!”, or “Interesting, but no thank-you.” Like an impatient toddler on a road-trip pleading “Are we there yet?”, I wondered if the next one would finally mention Dutch parents.

My heart sank at the end of the article. There was not a single mention of Dutch parents. Once again, this small North Western European country remains obscure compared to her European contemporaries – oh-so glamorous France and the hipster-approved Norway and Denmark. Yet ironically, for two consecutive times, UNICEF declared Dutch kids as leading the way in well-being. In a comprehensive study that encompassed 29 of the world’s most advanced economies, Dutch kids ranked the highest among the five dimensions studied: material well-being, health and safety, education, behaviors and risks, and housing and environment. If Dutch kids are the happiest kids in the world, surely Dutch parents are doing something right. And since happiness is a cultural obsession in America, one would assume that they would look towards the Netherlands for some inspiration.

Logically, I knew I was being irrational. Of course there could only be a limited number of cultures highlighted. Yet I couldn’t shake off the feeling of being ignored. What is it about Tiger mothering, or bringing up Bébé that attracts the intrigue of Americans but not common sense Dutch parenting?
Upon closer examination, is it because Dutch parents are following and living the advice that American parenting experts, medical professionals and psychologists have been emphasizing for years? Does it hit too close to home?

Please don’t misunderstand me as only promoting Dutch parenting. My son is growing up in a multicultural household with a Filipino-American mom (me) and a Dutch dad. We strictly follow the one parent, one language philosophy so our son grows up to achieve native fluency of Dutch and American English. We’ve opened our hearts to our dearest friends from all over the world -Singapore, Italy, South Africa, Australia, Philippines – with all sorts of religious (and non-religious) affiliations – Muslims, Christians, Jews, agnostics, and atheists. Because the truth is, our reality really does resemble a United Colors of Benetton advertisement of multiculturalism. Acceptance, open-mindedness and love begins at home after all.

I don’t want to be another insufferable mom doling out unsolicited, asinine advice on the “right way” to raise other people’s children. But there really is something genuinely wonderful going on in the Netherlands. I’ve experienced so many eye-opening, “wow” moments that really have made a difference in how I parent my own child. Before giving me the near automatic proverbial eye roll, please consider taking a moment to read these five Dutch parenting habits (many more to come in future blog posts):

1. Living an active lifestyle (biking, outdoor play, walking).

Regular “exercise” is an integral component of Dutch culture. Dutch parents can be seen everywhere walking around their babies in strollers, or baby-carriers. Before Dutch toddlers can even properly walk or run, they are given a loopfiets (walking bicycle). And Dutch childhood wouldn’t be complete without lots and lots of unstructured play while Dutch parents relax, drink coffee or read.

2. Eating regular meals together to allow time for discussions and openness.

Family quality time happens every day at the dining room table where everyone gathers to eat breakfast and dinner. Young school kids often also go home for lunch too. Healthy, open conversations are much more valued and nurtured around the dinner table than what’s actually being served.

3. Dutch Moms doing less household chores and Dutch dads doing more.

In fact, the current trend in the Netherlands is that women are doing less household chores and men are taking on more. Not only will you’ll have happier moms, but recent research suggests that there daughters of dads who do household chores grow up with more ambition.

4. Implementing household chores and responsibilities early on.

For the community-minded Dutch, the polder model that everyone pulls their own weight begins at the cradle. Okay, maybe not exactly. But as soon as they start school (usually at the age of four), Dutch kids are expected to make their own lunch. Dutch parents usually spread out all the necessary ingredients – breads, cheeses, meats, and fruits – and leave it up to the child to assemble their lunch.

5. Strict schedules, including early bedtimes.

The Dutch cultural obsession with having an agenda for everything is implemented the moment a child is born. “Free, unstructured” play time is penciled in as well as strict early bedtimes to ensure plenty of rest for both the child and the parents.

Traveling with the Happiest Kids in the World

27 May

27 May 2014

By Rina Mae Acosta

Dutch kids are known to be the happiest kids in the world. And the Dutch are among the world’s most avid travelers. It wouldn’t be surprising if the two were somehow interrelated!

It’s no secret that one of the things I love most about Dutch culture is their love for traveling. There’s a saying among the Dutch that “You can find a Dutch person anywhere in the world.” It’s quite impressive given that the population of the Netherlands is only around 17 million people. Traveling is simply ingrained in the culture. It is part of the Dutch work-life balance equation rather than some alternative lifestyle for the jet-set, adventurous crowd. Whether it’s traveling within the Netherlands, heading over to neighboring countries or having more ambitious plans, the Dutch love to explore and learn about different places and cultures.

For some people, traveling with babies, toddlers and kids would be the last thing they would want to do. Many people assume that once you cross over parent territory, passports and wanderlust would have to be put away. Not for the Dutch. They just get creative, modify their plans by traveling locally or simply baptize their little ones straight into international travel.

Every Tuesday (Travel Tuesday), I plan on sharing some things I’ve learned about traveling with my little one as a baby and as a toddler. I’ll be writing about some insider travel tips for families visiting the Netherlands, or expat families wanting to learn more about all the wonderful family-friendly stuff available in the Low Countries. And I will also be including travel essentials – what to bring and what not to bring depending on where you plan on going to. The tips will be inspired partly from the Dutch culture, but also from my own experiences.

What better way to officially start than to share a few of our favorite things and “tricks” to entertain Bram while we’re en-route (plane, car, train, bus), at a restaurant or having to do some waiting time. And as parents of babies and toddlers know, having an “activity kit” to entertain their short attention spans can both be a sanity saver and make the experience a lot more pleasant.

Here is Bram Junior’s “activity bag” that we’ve prepared for our upcoming trip to Paris (clockwise):

Back-pack
Any small bag would just do. Or even what ever diaper bag you are using. Since we are traveling, I choose the Skip Hop Zoo backpack he already has – it’s the perfect size and has amazing storage capacity.

Something to Eat
Toddlers are often notorious for being “hungry” at inopportune times. It’s always handy to be carrying along snacks. Bram loves the stuff from Ella’s Kitchen (100% Organic Baby Food) which can now be bought at Etos. And since he only gets it when he’s traveling, it becomes an extra special treat.

Something to Read
Carrying around a tiny mini-library of some sorts can do wonders to keep a baby and toddler preoccupied. Since we’re absolute fans of The Very Hungry Caterpillar (who isn’t?), we’re bringing along this ultra compact mini-library which he got as a gift from his fabulous aunt.

Something to Create
Having crayons (Wasco Playon Crayon Primary), an activity book with stickers (Leukste Doe Book Voor Jongens) and a pad with paper and an attached pen (Paddenstoel Notitiehouder) can really entertain a baby and a toddler. It’s why most family restaurants have some sort of crayons and coloring sheet! And what better way to have it in your bag just in case you may need it.

Something to Play With
An awesome trick I’ve learned is to wrap small presents for Bram to unpack. Whether it’s a new toy or an old one he’s forgotten about, it doesn’t matter. I am a bit convinced though that’s the novelty of the wrapping paper and process of unwrapping that babies are most fond of. I’m partial to lovely wooden toys and couldn’t resist getting him a little red mouse compass (muis compass), a clown top (blauw tol, clown met trektouwtje), and a pirate tic-tac-toe game (Spelletje, boter, kaas & eieren, piraten).

You’re Welcome Mr. President

25 Mar

25 March 2014

By Rina Mae Acosta

Photo credit: Wikipedia Commons

Being an American in the Netherlands leading up to and during the Nuclear Security Summit (March 24-25) has filled me up with lots of irrational pride. For the past two days, the Hague has been the center of the universe as world leaders from 53 countries and 5 international organizations negotiate on reducing and securing nuclear supplies and keeping them out of terrorists’ hands. Who wouldn’t be proud that we’re one step closer for not blowing up our beautiful, irreplaceable planet earth?

Inspired by Buzzfeed’s article Welcome to the Netherlands Mr. President, I’d also like to share some interesting tidbits of Dutch-American influences. We all know about the soft power America has on the rest of the world. Little does everyone else know about how influential the seemingly obscure tiny Northern European country of only 16,839,840 has on American culture (past, present and future).

The Dutch were the original New Yorkers

Image of Native Americans watching the arrival of the first Dutch colonists at the Hudson river.
Photo credit: Flickr Commons

Actually, the Native Americans should be the undisputed first inhabitants of New York state and the rest of the United States. But it was the Dutch who founded New Netherlands (now New York) in 1614, being among the first to ~~steal~~ barter the land from the Native Americans and create a flourishing, world city of New Amsterdam (New York City). Knowing their time was up in 1667, the Dutch exchanged Manhattan for Suriname. What the Dutch left behind is a city of love for liberty, entrepreneurial spirit, tolerance, an established banking system and a future concrete jungle where dreams are made of.

Yankees

Photo credit: Flickr Commons

The Dutch names Jan (“John”, pronounced as Yan) and Kees (“Cornelius”) were and continue to be common names for boys in the Netherlands. Urban legend has it that the word “Yankee” is a combination of the two names originally referred to Dutch-Americans but is now the beloved baseball team of New York.

Many famous and influential people in America were Dutch or had Dutch ancestry.

President Theodore Roosevelt Photo credit: Flickr Commons

Thomas Edison, Audrey Hepburn, Eddie van Halen, the Roosevelts (Theodore, Franklin and Eleanore), Walt Whitman all had Dutch ancestry. And let’s not forget that Carice van Houten who plays Melisandre on Games of Thrones is a beloved Dutch actress.

Many all-American nostalgic food is actually Dutch in Origin
The Pancake Bakery by Pieter Aertsen (1508-1575) Photo credit: Wikipedia Commons

Many of the current mainstays of the American diet were introduced to the New World by the Dutch such as pancakes (pannenkoeken), waffles (wafles), doughnuts (oliebollen), coleslaw (koolsla), pretzels and cookies (koekjes). While over time these Dutch treats became Americanized (bigger, sweeter, and fluffier), the culinary contributions of early Dutch settlers should not be forgotten.

The closest foreign analogue to Obamacare (Affordable Health Care Act) is the Dutch Health System
When the United States of America, thanks to the leadership of President Obama, decided to join the rest of the world and try to provide health insurance for all of its citizens, they looked towards the Netherlands as their example. The Dutch Health system and the Affordable Health Care act were both inspired by Stanford Health Economist Alain Enthoven’s theory of managed competition.

Wishful Thinking: That American Kids can be just as happy as Dutch Kids

Photo credit: Flickr Commons

I’m also hoping that Americans can also be influenced by the Dutch on how to raise the happiest kids in the world. Perhaps your (brief) time here Mr. President Obama may have inspired you to help pave the way for American kids. The future generations will thank-you.