Discovering the Dutch

Finding Dutchland Friday Loves

3 October 2014
By

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My first week officially back on the “blogosphere” and it feels refreshingly good. I’m convinced that I must have a guardian angel somewhere because when I emerged from under my proverbial rock, my ” The 8 Secrets of Dutch Kids, the Happiest Kids in the World” went viral all over again.

 

One of the best gifts of all – (re)realizing that my Facebook page is really a supportive, thriving community. While I wasn’t prepared to deal with the occupational hazard of trolls (comes with the territory of being an online presence), I was overwhelmed with the amount of support and encouragement when I confided in them tonight. I finally found my “tribe”. And as crazy as this sounds, dear readers, you’ve become my friends and my confidants. The category of those who fall under “online” friends are just as dear as those in “real-life”.  I politely refuse to listen otherwise because of my own personal experience. To keep my community free from vitriol, I have decided to delete the post. Thank-you.

 

This weekend is going to be full of much anticipated reunions with some of our “real life” friends who we haven’t seen in ages. It’s the story of our life as parents. It’s something I am quite embarrassed about and hold my head down low in shame at times, but one I’ve learned to simply accept. I know my family and I are simply in a season in our lives where we simply don’t have a lot of free time. My husband is an entrepreneur and time is a precious financial commodity. And like everything else in life, it’ll soon pass. Nothing lasts forever in life and I’m acutely aware of it (sometimes maybe too much). To our friends and family, know that you are our distant present. Yes, there will be a future blog post about this. 😉

 

On Saturday, we’re headed to Rotterdam to check out the much-anticipated Markthal and catch brunch with one of our favorite people in the world. She just radiates sunshine. The first time we met each other we were kindred spirits, both going through a difficult period of uncertainty and yet both so hungry to discover and explore our own potentials. It was kismet. And though we might not see each other a lot, she’s family. Sunday is going to be a very special day celebrating our friends’ baby girl’s baptism into the Catholic world. We share a special bond – born on the same day, 32 years apart.  It’ll be an incredible way to embrace another soulful Sunday, complete with the company of delightful friends and lots of Filipino soulfood.

 

Here are some links from the week to enjoy on this beautiful Fall weekend:

Harvard, Schmarvard: Why Getting Your Kids Into College Should Be the Least of Your Concerns.

No seriously, how contagious is Ebola?

Some honest ROFL insight into American politics by one of the funniest bloggers in the world.

This will melt your heart – Hipster Halloween Costumes Part I

Something my Dutch readers, especially the city folk- would appreciate: 7 Smart Storage Solutions for Small Kitchens 

Who doesn’t love Elmo? Check out Mindy Kaling and Elmo discussing what it means to be “enthusiastic”.

 

 

5 Dutch Parenting Habits That Should Catch On In the US

2 October 2014
By

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When I stumbled upon an article on NPR titled “Global Parenting Habits That Haven’t Caught On In the U.S.“, I got excited. I had not-so-secretly hoped that Dutch parents would be mentioned. I nodded (perhaps too enthusiastically) as my eyes read down the lines, mentally compartmentalizing each habit as a “Yes, what a great idea!”, or “Interesting, but no thank-you.” Like an impatient toddler on a road-trip pleading “Are we there yet?”, I wondered if the next one would finally mention Dutch parents.

 

My heart sank at the end of the article. There was not a single mention of Dutch parents. Once again, this small North Western European country remains obscure compared to her European contemporaries – oh-so glamorous France and the hipster-approved Norway and Denmark. Yet ironically, for two consecutive times, UNICEF declared Dutch kids as leading the way in well-being. In a comprehensive study that encompassed 29 of the world’s most advanced economies, Dutch kids ranked the highest among the five dimensions studied: material well-being, health and safety, education, behaviors and risks, and housing and environment. If Dutch kids are the happiest kids in the world, surely Dutch parents are doing something right. And since happiness is a cultural obsession in America, one would assume that they would look towards the Netherlands for some inspiration.

 

Logically, I knew I was being irrational. Of course there could only be a limited number of cultures highlighted. Yet I couldn’t shake off the feeling of being ignored. What is it about Tiger mothering, or bringing up Bébé that attracts the intrigue of Americans but not common sense Dutch parenting?
Upon closer examination, is it because Dutch parents are following and living the advice that American parenting experts, medical professionals and psychologists have been emphasizing for years? Does it hit too close to home?

 

Please don’t misunderstand me as only promoting Dutch parenting. My son is growing up in a multicultural household with a Filipino-American mom (me) and a Dutch dad. We strictly follow the one parent, one language philosophy so our son grows up to achieve native fluency of Dutch and American English. We’ve opened our hearts to our dearest friends from all over the world -Singapore, Italy, South Africa, Australia, Philippines – with all sorts of religious (and non-religious) affiliations – Muslims, Christians, Jews, agnostics, and atheists. Because the truth is, our reality really does resemble a United Colors of Benetton advertisement of multiculturalism. Acceptance, open-mindedness and love begins at home after all.

 

I don’t want to be another insufferable mom doling out unsolicited, asinine advice on the “right way” to raise other people’s children. But there really is something genuinely wonderful going on in the Netherlands.  I’ve experienced so many eye-opening, “wow” moments that really have made a difference in how I parent my own child. Before giving me the near automatic proverbial eye roll, please consider taking a moment to read these five Dutch parenting habits (many more to come in future blog posts):

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1. Living an active lifestyle (biking, outdoor play, walking).

Regular “exercise” is an integral component of Dutch culture. Dutch parents can be seen everywhere walking around their babies in strollers, or baby-carriers. Before Dutch toddlers can even properly walk or run, they are given a loopfiets (walking bicycle). And Dutch childhood wouldn’t be complete without lots and lots of unstructured play while Dutch parents relax, drink coffee or read.

 
2. Eating regular meals together to allow time for discussions and openness.

Family quality time happens every day at the dining room table where everyone gathers to eat breakfast and dinner. Young school kids often also go home for lunch too. Healthy, open conversations are much more valued and nurtured around the dinner table than what’s actually being served.

 

3. Dutch Moms doing less household chores and Dutch dads doing more.

In fact, the current trend in the Netherlands is that women are doing less household chores and men are taking on more. Not only will you’ll have happier moms, but recent research suggests that there daughters of dads who do household chores grow up with more ambition.

 

4. Implementing household chores and responsibilities early on.

For the community-minded Dutch, the polder model that everyone pulls their own weight begins at the cradle. Okay, maybe not exactly. But as soon as they start school (usually at the age of four), Dutch kids are expected to make their own lunch. Dutch parents usually spread out all the necessary ingredients – breads, cheeses, meats, and fruits – and leave it up to the child to assemble their lunch.

 

5. Strict schedules, including early bedtimes.

The Dutch cultural obsession with having an agenda for everything is implemented the moment a child is born. “Free, unstructured” play time is penciled in as well as strict early bedtimes to ensure plenty of rest for both the child and the parents.

 

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You Have to F-cking Eat

30 September 2014
By

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Author Adam Mansbach is back with a promising sequel to the HIGHlarious children’s book Go the F-ck to Sleep.  For those who have been living under a rock (perfectly understandable when being a parent), Go the F-ck to Sleep is an internationally acclaimed book that debuted at #1 on the New York Times Bestseller list and sold over 1.5 million copies around the the world.

 

In collaboration with illustrator Owen Brozman, Mansbach entertains us with another near universal parenting frustration: the tumultuous process of getting your child to eat something. Mansbach’s new book You Have to F-cking Eat, complete with profanities, will likely resonate with parents who appreciate Mansbach for keeping it real. 

 

Mansbach’s books may initially appear to fall under the category of the children’s book genre but it’s definitely not intended for the ears of impressionable children. Consider Mansbach’s style reminiscent of the ongoing spirit of “imperfect parenting” that draws millions of parents to communities like Scary Mommy and Blunt Moms. Despite all our best intentions, worries and concerns about our children, sometimes all we can do is have a hearty, bellyfull laugh. And Mansbach offers the perfect comic relief on those “how-am-I-gonna-survive-this-to-the-end-of-the-day, eyes twitching, sleep-deprived exhaustion” kind of days.


You Have to F-cking Eat will be available to purchase on November 12. It would be the perfect Sinterklaas or Christmas gift for a special parent in your life that might just need a good soulful laugh. Or even perhaps parents-to-be who might just need it for some last minute therapy in the future.

 

*Disclaimer: As stated in Amazon, you probably should reconsider reading the book to your children. Then again, perhaps your parenting philosophy is more in line with sociologist Dalton Conley who’s more concerned with a child using profanity within the appropriate context.

 

P.S. If you’d like to waste time on the internet, you should watch this adorable Filipina grandmother discover just how inappropriate reading Go the F-ck to Sleep is.

 

P.P.S. If you haven’t already, come join us on Facebook. I promise I won’t be too annoying.

InstaDutchland

29 September 2014
By

Staying true to making my blog more of a love letter, I’m starting a new blogging series called “InstaDutchland” posted (ambitiously) every Monday. Naturally, the hashtag I’m using is #InstaDutchland.

Inspired by my blogger friends Deepa from Currystrumpet and Esther from Urban Moms, I’m going to share with you guys my favorite new discoveries and regular places that nourish my soul. It’s also a special nod to one of my first readers who asked me to show her the Netherlands. There’s so many wonderful gems, especially hidden ones, scattered throughout this small Western European country. Hopefully it can ignite some wanderlust. Or even encourage locals to play tourist. At the very least, I hope it inspires people to simply step out of there homes and find beauty (nature, art, love, random acts of kindness) waiting outside of their doorstep.

On a more personal level, it’s a way for me to pause and to document the little things that bring joy to me and my family.

 

Here are my favorite “finds” for the week of September 22-28, 2014 (Yes, my “week” is from Monday to Sunday, at least for the first time around).

 

Verfdokter (Springweggarage)

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  “The world is but a canvas to the imagination.” – Henry David Thoreau

Click To Tweet

 

We were happily surprised to discover an artistic rendition of Utrecht’s historic Oudegracht at one of the most unlikely places – at the side of the Springweg garage. Graffiti artists Hendrik and Robert-Jan Brink, also known as the verfdokters (the paint doctors) painted the scene with the owner’s permission. It’s conveniently located right behind the Oudegracht and in close proximity to our favorite stores. We were absolutely thrilled and couldn’t resist a spontaneous photo shoot with my son.

 

The Zelfgemaakte Markt (ZGM)

Utrecht Art Fair

 

The Zelfgemaakte Markt (ZGM) is basically an Etsy’s fanatic’s dream come true. It’s a market where handmade and handcrafted goodies made by local Dutch artists, designers, gourmands and anything else that falls within the artisanal category. The clever namesake “Zelfgemaakte Markt” is translated as “I made it myself.” Adding to it’s novelty is the location – the Mariaplaats, a historical market site since 1391. Staying true to the Dutch love of thrift, all the items were reasonably priced and many would be considered steals. I couldn’t resist buying my toddler son a whale and two pillows made by SpijkerGoed for €40. SpijkerGoed is a new initiative started by two sister-in-laws bringing some new life to old jeans in the form of pillows, stuffed animals, and bags. I have a sneaking suspicion that I may have been their first customer!

 

Bartimeus Moestuin Doorn

Moestuin Doorn

 

When my dearest friend invited me to Baritimus Moestuin Doorn for a family date, I came with an open-mind. The website was relatively nondescript about the vegetable garden, leaving lots of room for imagination. In all honesty, I was more interested in seeing my friend and her family more than exploring a new place. Just entering the walled grounds where the garden was located was breathtaking. It’s possibly the most peaceful place I’ve ever visited for a while. We were completely awestruck to say the least.

 

It felt like a hipster’s fairy tale, the kind that you read in magazines, come to life. The inner geek in me was suddenly reminded of The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett – a magical place where one goes to seek sanctuary among the blooms and with one another. I’m convinced that it’s one of those places that have to visit yourself to fully comprehend it’s beauty. The added bonus: it’s literally only a five minute bike ride from my own home nestled in the woods of Doorn.

 

Perhaps my favorite find in vegetable garden is Theehuis ’t Sand. It was by far the prettiest cup of coffee I’ve ever had. I felt so fancy. And it might be just the right place for me to occasionally get some writing done. 

Next Saturday (4 October 2014) there is going to be the stekken-en-oogstmarkt (cuttings and harvest market) from 11:00 am to 3:00pm. Entrance is € 2,50 per person. Address: Driebergestraatweg 44, Doorn.

 

All photos taken on my IPhone 5s cause I’m “old school” like that. Come follow me on Instagram – I’d love and appreciate the company!

Finding Dutchland Friday Love

26 September 2014
By

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Tell me what your plans are this weekend. For us, it’s going to be a day in Utrecht on Saturday. We’re going to test-drive a bakfiets for me (you can definitely count on a future blog post about) and my two leading men are going to get haircuts from our fabulous hair dresser Pierre at Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads. And like any proud country bumpkin with an Asian background, I’m going to stock up on a 20kg bag of jasmine white rice and a rainbow of spices that would make any gourmand salivate.

Sunday for us is going to be stereotypically “Dutch” (or more accurately, Christian-inspired) – a day of rest and rejuvenation for the soul. We hope to spend some time with our dearest friends at Moestuin Doorn, a historical herb garden with a rosarium. And like any supportive entrepreneur’s wife, I’ll support my husband in sneaking off to his other mistress (work) in the afternoon.

Here are a few interesting posts around the web this week for your reading pleasure:


Happy Wife = Happy Life.

Can I get an Amen? An Open Letter to Oprah: Motherhood is not an aside.

Something I would love for the future second baby: a breast pump that doesn’t suck.

Warning signs of a heart attack. And sometimes it’s actually not that obvious, especially for women.

Kid stores with blogs worth reading, courtesy of Apartment Therapy.

Ever wonder how the third season became both “autumn” and “fall“?

It’s Oatmeal season again! Here’s an ultimate guide to oatmeal.

And speaking of food, here are some Italian recipes perfect for Fall.

“Neglect everything else” -some worthwhile advice for my writing and blogging friends.

Interested in saving some money? Here are luxury accessories you’re probably paying too much for.

A new favorite app –Longform, for the nerd in you who wants an easier way to follow your favorite writers and magazines.

 

Wishing everyone a fabulous weekend!

The Space In Between

24 September 2014
By

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I didn’t intend to go (relatively) silent in the blogverse back in June.

The initial excuse – moving – holds some substantial weight. I was responsible for 98% of the packing and unpacking. Despite all my best intentions to prepare and plan, life got inconvenient and a bit messy. Setting up a new home with a clingy, curious toddler and a husband overburdened and overcommitted with work was a lot more challenging than I had anticipated.

All those weeks and months in between, I’ve written (mostly in my head) a dozen, or so articles about parenting, motherhood, and life in the Netherlands. Feedly, Pocket and Evernote became my best-friends, littered and cluttered with saved columns and hastily written down notes that only I could decipher. Keeping good on my promise though was regularly updating my Facebook page. I didn’t want to lose touch with those who are kind enough to read my words, who give me support and encouragement with every like, comment and message.

Now that I finally find the time and space to sit behind my computer, I stumble, unable to fill words on a blank screen. I hesitate. Pause. Breathe. Where does one even begin again?

It took me nine long, hard-earned years to find a place in the Netherlands that I could finally see myself settling in.  I’ll always have a soft spot for Utrecht, the place where my husband and son were born. But it wasn’t a place where my heart wanted to establish roots – not with a young family. Maybe in a couple of years but not now, not with my little boy who loves exploring the world.  I didn’t like the mom I was in Utrecht- the “No” kind of mom intent on keeping my curious child alive and safe, who doesn’t understand the incessant dangers of canals, bikes, mopeds, and cars.

We weren’t the Dutch suburbia kind either – the perfectly manicured lawns, identical newly built homes and quiet characteristic of all commuter towns didn’t feel quite right. My allergies against 12 different types of grasses and allergy-induced asthma held me hostage at home, unable to freely roam the suburb built in the heart of endless Dutch grassfields. When weekends came, we were always a bit too enthusiastic to get out and explore, unable to comfortably stay local. We weren’t unhappy in Houten, but if we were truly honest, we were a bit too lonely and bored.

Eventually we found ourselves regularly driving towards the Dutch forests. We loved wandering aimlessly through the wooded paths, the clean air and the space. And so on a whim, we decided to move to Doorn, a small village of 10,000 people nestled within the Utrechtse Heuvelrug National Park. Utrecht, or Amersfoort were only a twenty minute car ride away, but we felt like we were miles and miles away from the chaos of urban city life.

It wasn’t necessarily all the responsibilities with the move that prevented me from writing. Granted, it was impossible for me to ignore the boxes and the ensuing frustrations of living disheveled and disorganized. Someone had to settle us in and that someone was me, myself and I. As many writers can enthusiastically attest to, unless there is an environment that fosters creativity, any attempt at writing would be in vain. I needed to set up my entire home (not just my designated writing room) to clear my mind.

But one can hide behind the “just moved-in” excuse for only so long. No, there was something else going on with me. I started flirting around with the idea of my own impermanence, about what if my Catholic upbringing misled me to believe that my consciousness would be perfectly intact?  What if Stephen Hawking was right, that “there is no heaven or afterlife for broken-down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark.” If life were a movie, you can press play to REM’s Losing My Religion, the mandolin chords giving way to universally familiar words, “That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spotlight, losing my religion.”

Sorry for sounding melodramatic. I am a writer after all and the artistic license of being emotional applies to me just as much as a musician, painter, dancer, photographer, designer and what ever other creative outlet there is. I feel things. Deeply.

Ironically, it was finally being able to find a place to call home and in a good place that served as a catalyst for my mild existential crisis. Life is good – so good that it hurts. I started asking the hard questions – Why am I writing? What am I writing about? To Whom am I writing to? Why Should I Continue to Write? Is what I am writing about even interesting to people?

 

I’m starting over. It’s official. I’ll continue writing about life in the Netherlands and all my cultural observations of the Dutch. I’m also now intent on curating my blog as an on going love letter to my son and my husband. Along the way, I’m going to foster a community of expats, Nederlanders, moms, dads and anyone else who’d love to receive random updates of my life in the Netherlands, of stories that move the spirit and anything else in between celebrating life.

 

I hope you continue to follow me on my journey. Here’s to Finding Dutchland, whereever you may be.

Oh Captain, My Captain -Robin Williams

15 August 2014
By

In general I tend to shy away from writing about tragedies and heartaches that surround us. In this crazy, mixed-up world where they shoot down planes, neighbors being cruel to one another and militarized police attack protesters and journalists, it’s hard not to tune-out. I love to create a space on the internet that provides some distraction from the heartbreaking realities of our world. I want my blog to be a source of inspiration, possibly bring some laughter, provide camaraderie through shared experiences and at the very least, to feel a little lighter.

 

But I’m finding it impossible to remain silent as I feel the collective outpouring of grief for the sudden passing of Robin Williams. As the lachrymose eulogies of Robin Williams continue to flood, it’s evident that he was the most beloved American actor and comedian of our time. For Millennials, Robin Williams was our childhood. Babyboomers came of age virtually at the same time as he did.

 

As Williams once quipped, “Well, you just try and keep it in perspective; you have to remember the best and the worst. In America they really do mythologize people when they die.”

 

At the expense of sounding trite and being cliché, please allow me to also take the time to thank this man renowned for his comedic genius and kindness.

 

Because my grief, also being experienced by the countless others around me, is real. 

 

For me, Robin Williams was my America.

 

Williams was the rare common ground, the (sad) clown that my American-weary Filipino parents could enjoy watching with their children. For those few moments (far and few inbetween), my immigrant parents set aside their uncompromising views of life and laughed with us.

 

For someone who wasn’t allowed much of a childhood, watching his films enabled me to steal moments of simply being a child – a rare, safe space where my mother’s mania and depression couldn’t haunt me. Movies and tv shows obviously aren’t reality but for a child who desperately needed some adult compassion, his performances went a long way to giving me some momentary happiness and escape. What else would a five-year old child who walked home from school to an empty apartment do but watch television? Or what about those endless weeks of summer of being left alone to either read, or watch TV because God forbid playing outside would make me darker to my parent’s chagrin? Suffice to say summer camps, family vacations and stable home environments were not a shared experience for this child of working-class Filipino parents.  What did remain fairly consistent and reliable were the chances of the prolific acting and comedy routines of Robin Williams being on television or readily accessible on the VCR.

 

As I grew alongside his movies, I learned about America, random pop culture trivia and the world. Because when you don’t have parents who believed in having conversations with their children except for giving commands and criticism – books, movies and media become major players in shaping one’s perspective of the world and navigating the perilous world of childhood and adolescence.

 

What probably made Robin Williams’ presence more palpable was that we shared a common home – San Francisco. He was the local celebrity with whom there was a real possibility of randomly running into (unfortunately we never did). As with all celebrities, whispers of his own demons only made more evident by his candidness of them, simply became a blasé footnote when I became a young adult. And to my geeky embarrassment, the first time I stepped into the Sistine Chapel, I took a deep breath, smelled the air around me and looked up. After all, it was because of Robin Williams’ lecture in Good Will Hunting that I first learned about the masterpiece and started dreaming that one day, maybe I too could lay my eyes on it (I know, I’m a big sap). It wasn’t that I celebrated the existence of Robin Williams everyday (that would too melodramatic and disingenuous), but rather his influence enriched my reality, inciting me to laugh, dream, hope…and simply be human, complete with imperfections and wobbly bits.

 

So when news of his death came crashing down my Facebook feed, I couldn’t help but mutter the words, “Oh Captain… My Captain…” in dismay. For a moment, in my foggy recollection of What Dreams May Come, I fantasized that since millions of people genuinely loved him, chances are that he would be in heaven, or probably re-incarnating back into the world next week. My eternal optimism is partly his fault any way.

 

I can guarantee you that when the time comes, my little boy will also watch Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, Good Will Hunting, What Dreams May Come, Jumanji, Bird Cage, and Mork & Mindy for starters. Maybe he too can learn a couple things about my America as well. But most of all, I hope that he can perceive and try to emulate the kindness that Robin Williams bestowed upon the world. I’ll be there to give my son a helping hand.

Robin Williams Instagram

“...that you are here; that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”

 

Your verse will continue to linger and bring joy Robin Williams. How tragic that you were consumed by so much darkness when you brought the world so much light. God Bless.

 

 

(Photo source: Instagram of Robin Williams)

Going Dutch – Nijntje Aan Zee by Dick Bruna

1 July 2014
By

When I was invited to join the Read Around the World Summer Reading Series hosted by Multicultural Kid Blogs, I couldn’t resist sharing our favorite Dutch children’s book by Dick Bruna.

I also instantly knew that “nijntje aan zee” would be the perfect Dutch contribution to the summer reading list for the three and under crowd. What better way than to introduce a book about spending a day at the beach, a beloved national pastime among the Dutch, written by acclaimed Dutch writer and illustrator Dick Bruna?

Part of our family’s love affair with Dick Bruna started when we were given a signed copy of “nijnte aan zee” as a baby-shower present from my Dutch mother-in-law.

nijntje aan zee 1

“For Mama Rina and Papa Bram, Dick Bruna”

The Dutch love Dick Bruna so much that they even opened the dick bruna huis in Utrecht, dedicating a museum of over 7000 pieces consisting of children’s books, book covers and posters created by Dick Bruna.

As one can see from the photo below, Dick Bruna playfully introduces the basics of visual art. Through his work, babies and toddlers are immersed in a world of colours, shapes and lines along with a simple story line written in lower-case letters. It’s a perfect way to introduce the visual and written word to the preschool crowd.

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And the great news is that there are 16 books available in English making Nijntje (Miffy) more accessible for children around the world. Happy summer reading everyone!

 

This post is my contribution for the Read Around the World Summer Reading Series from Multicultural Kid Blogs!  From June through August, bloggers from all over the world will share their recommendations of great multicultural books for the entire family!  For more details and the full schedule, please visit the series main page.  You can also follow along on our Summer Reading Pinterest Board!

Moving Strategy

9 June 2014
By

moving strategyphoto of my two year old playing with a moving box

Two weeks remain before we move out of our comfortable, modern suburban home into a 1930s cottage nestled in a Dutch forest. We are excited to move. Beyond thrilled actually. And understandably, the stress of it all is starting to take front and center attention in the Finding Dutchland household.

Rather than letting the stress impact our family’s happiness and well-being, I’m actually utilizing it to improve family communication skills and a “team building” exercise. In reality, this translates to my husband giving me full control over our moving strategy and designating specific times for unadulterated concentrated packing without the presence of my toddler.

As health psychologist Kelly McGonigal suggested in her Ted talk, I’m making stress my friend. And since right now, I am in the thick of moving, here are some of the things I am doing (and have done) to make it one happy move:

Start one month before
What can I say? I’m a planner at heart. Make a list of everything that you need to get done from now until moving day. There’s also practical logistics such as providing a written 30-day notice to the current landlord and canceling or forwarding utilities (gas, water, electricity, garbage, cable/internet, phone and cell phone) that need to be done well in advance. And of course, you need time to make an inventory of what you have and purchase moving supplies (moving boxes, bubble wrap, clear storage boxes, vacuum-seal bags).

De-clutter & Purge
Consider moving as a gift to figuring out what is truly essential and useful in your life. While I’m a sentimental fool, considerate ruthlessness are the two words best to describe my moving-state-of-mind. I’m a firm believer in not letting the things that you own take up owning you. Most of the time what we save to use for later we never end up using anyway because we forget about it, or we simply can’t find it.

Organized packing
Create a clear, organized packing system. Labeled all the boxes to include what was inside, what room it will go in and in what floor. When labeling the boxes, consider also implementing a color coordination system for all the rooms and floors.  We were able to be settled enough to have overnight guests for a couple of days and throw a ginormous first birthday less than one week after moving into our new home.

Clean Along the Way
Try not to leave major cleaning projects right at the last minute. Allocate some time during the last week of the move to deep cleaning the oven, fridge, freezer and bathrooms. Granted, the simple act of moving can cause more mess. But a slow and steady deep clean regimen can help guarantee your deposit back since you will leave the place cleaned.

Clean New Place
If you can get the keys to the new place before the move, I strongly recommend you cleaning the new place. Even if the previous tenants or landlord cleaned the apartment, one can get a lot of comfort cleaning a place to one’s own satisfaction. It can also make settling in a lot faster as it makes it easier to unpack and make the house into a home.

Hire movers
If financial considerations allow for it, please hire movers. While one can save a bit of money by asking friends and family for the favor, hiring professional movers can go a long way. If you take the costs of renting a moving van, procuring other moving essentials (ropes, dolly, boxes) and the actual time it takes to move, hiring movers may actually be more cost-effective in the long run. Your friends and family (or more accurately – their backs) will be grateful.

Bonus tip
If you are moving with a baby or toddler, seriously consider utilizing your support network of friends and family to do some babysitting the weeks leading up to the move and moving day itself. Our little loved ones can definitely sense an impending major life altering change so it’s also best to explain (rinse & repeat) what is going on. Also, while it is a lot more time consuming, having them help packing non-breakables and toys may do wonders for their self-esteem.

Anyone have any moving tips to add before the moving day?

On Being Filipino-American, From San Francisco to the Netherlands

28 May 2014
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Just like fellow blogger Mia Wenjen from Pragmatic Mom, when people ask me “Where I am really from”, this video is one of the first thoughts that come to mind.

 

I often wish I had the bravado to carry off a similar reaction in the end. Alas, I have yet to build up that kind of swagger without losing my composure in a fit of laughter. Though to be honest, it wasn’t until I had moved to the Netherlands did that seemingly innocuous question become such a personally loaded one.

The question isn’t as much as being curious to know about your own personal situation but rather your own ethnic origin regardless of nationality. The color of my skin has become my initial business card and from there, people like to make several assumptions until they hear me open my mouth.

As a child of immigrant Filipino parents, being Filipino-American wasn’t a novelty. It was perfectly normal. In a recent Slate article titled “What Language Does Your State Speak“, when English and Spanish were taken out of the equation, Tagalog, the national Filipino language of the Philippines, came out as a clear winner in California, Hawaii and Nebraska. Filipino-Americans are one of the largest immigrant groups in the United States and the second largest Asian-American/Pacific Islander ethnic group.  As of the 2010 US Census, the Filipino-American community consisted of 3.4 million people.  Filipino-Americans are now the largest Asian-American ethnic group in the entire state of California.

But growing up, I had wanted nothing more but to “fit in”. Whenever Thanksgiving rolled around, the most quintessential American holiday for many people (aside from the 4th of July),  I had desperately longed to experience the kind of stereotypical American family gathering depicted on a Norman Rockwell canvas. If we were lucky, a roasted turkey would be present. But it definitely wouldn’t be the center piece.

There would be stiff competition from lechon (roasted suckling pig), pancit (Filipino noodles), mechado (Filipino beef stew), lumpia (Filipino egg rolls) and a dozen other native Filipino dishes. And rather than being an intimate gathering around at the dinner table eating from the family’s finest China, we would all be standing around buffet style happily eating out of paper plates and plastic utensils surrounded by more than forty family members. That’s how we roll.

In hindsight, who exactly was I trying to “fit-in” with? I didn’t fully comprehend my own feelings until now. Not even after being a student of Professor Ronald Takaki at UC Berkeley. I might have gotten an A in his Asian-American studies class, but one of his most crucial messages didn’t surface until nearly ten years after graduation. It wasn’t until late one night, when I was still suffering from severe sleep deprivation due to having a young baby, desperately searching for something that I couldn’t vocalize, did I stumble upon novelist Chimamanda Adichie’s Ted talk “The Danger of a Single Story”.

The flood gates started opening the moment her beautiful soulful voice recollected her journey in finding her own authentic cultural voice.

And the light-bulb finally went on.

Like Adichie, I had grown up in a world where there were no books and stories about growing up that I could directly identify with (as a Filipino-American). I did get my hands on the Amy Tan’s “The Joy Luck Club” and Sandra Cisneros “The House on Mango Street”. But stories written about the Filipino-American childhood experience by Filipino-Americans was and still is painfully missing. And it wasn’t until recently did I make the connection of the importance of telling one’s story.

And after what I’ve experienced in the Netherlands, I’m finally beginning to “check my privilege“. Of the importance of being a storyteller. In honor of May being Asian-American Heritage month, I share my own story of being an Asian( Filipino)-American along with other bloggers around the world. I am a Filipino-American mother, wife and writer currently living in the Netherlands (Europe). Let the conversation begin.

 

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